Canoe.ca and Slam Sports Promote Hatred of Atlantic Canada

I’d like, no in fact I need, to take a few minutes to comment on a very disturbing article today on the Canoe.ca Slam-Sports web site. The commentary is entitled “The Last Word” by one Bill Lankhof, or as I would prefer to call him at this point, Bill F-Off. Mr. Lankhof works for a publication out of Toronto which I will not name directly since I would prefer to give the particular rag in question as little free publicity as possible.

It is clear to me and should be to any other thinking person that this individual is nothing more than an ignorant, uneducated, self serving pustule who has never traveled outside of his own little fiefdom (possibly within his own mind, but more likely someplace in central Canada).

In what should have been a very celebratory sports article describing the Brad Gushue Olympic trial victory on Sunday in Halifax, this micro-minded waste of oxygen managed to insult the province of Newfoundland and Labrador at least 6 times and still managed some space to throw in a crude comment about the sinking of the titanic for good measure.

Let me give you an example of the pure crapulance he was allowed to bring to the public in his attack on Newfoundland.

Lankhof's first insult lead off the article when he began the piece by saying the win was the biggest thing to happen in Newfoundland, “since the invention of pogey”. He then followed up with such wonderful insights as, “The local sport of baby –seal whacking is no longer coming across on TV as a great spectator sport” and noting how Newfoundland’s Gushue was a good fit for curling since he came from a land of “Booze, ice and rocks”.

As if this were'nt bad enough, he didn’t stop there. He then went on to say, “Locals now have something to chew the fat over --other than that yucky whale blubber they've been gnawing on…”.

I have no idea where his narrow mind, if he even has a mind, managed to dig that little ditty up, nor do I understand why he would follow such a remark with, “Newfies finally have someone named Skip to look up to again whose livelihood doesn't depend on a cod fish to be born later.”

To top it all off, in the warped mind of this lump of useless organs, it appears that crude references to the titanic sinking, where hundreds of souls were lost, are considered a funny thing. He says, and I quote, “The last time Newfoundland made such a big international splash the Titanic tried deep-sea diving”.

I ask you, is this idiot supposed to be a sports writer, or is he simply trying to take the wind out of the sails of this world class team while intentionally insulting, denigrating and stereotyping a large part of the Canadian population?

This man, and I use the term very loosely, not to mention the latte sipping morons who keep him on their payroll need to take a long hard look at reality. They might just find that there is much more of value to be found in Canada than exists in their own backyard.

It is this kind of crude and degrading commentary that has long made Atlantic Canadians, and Newfoundlander's in particular, feel like outcasts in this Country. For an organization like Canoe.ca to provide this individual with a forum for spewing his hatred is nothing less than an embarrassment to the management and staff of that company.

I'm sure many Newfoundlanders and Labradoreans who have read the article will be asking for an official apology. I as an individual will not. Not because I don't feel that we deserve one, but because an apology will simply not rectify a very serious problem like the one his paper and anyone else who would promote his drivel has. Instead this man should be fired, along with anyone who would dare to defend his comments. Then again, I guess that's a lot to ask from a company that would hire this excuse for a human being in the first place.

Maybe I'll do my part to help the stereotype of Newfoundland along by dashing off to Toronto and getting a job. Maybe I too can be a sports writer. I understand there is a certain paper there that will hire anyone with a head full of rocks. Let me see, how about if I start by following Bill Lankhof's lead. Maybe the next time someone like Chris Brosh of the Raptors has a great night I can amuse myself and my readers by talking about all the fried chicken and watermelon that will be consumed at the after game party.

No, I don't think I'd like a job like that. I'd probably need to be at least two people to carry it off because one person certainly couldn't be that much of a moron all by himself.