Conservatives Flex Their Intellectual Muscle

What is it about the new Conservative government that makes it so dysfunctional? We all know the previous Liberal government was little more than a corrupt old boy network but at least they had the excuse of too many years in office and the resulting attitude of entitlement. What excuse can the Conservative government possibly have, after only two months in office, for displaying the combined mental capacity and communication skills of a bunch of dyslexic chimpanzees?

Back in December and January the Harper clan all climbed aboard their pick-up trucks and toured the Country blasting their Liberal predecessors for corruption and calling for the creation a new more accountable government. “Stand up for Canada” they shouted, vowing to create an elected senate and fix the equalization process, all in an effort to address fiscal imbalance. Ahhh, it seems so long ago.

Here it is March and already Conservative platform promises are disappearing faster than a snow bank on a rainy day in June. Since being elected this bunch has already bribed a member of the “corrupt” Liberal party to join their ranks and appointed an unelected, unaccountable crony to the senate and cabinet. Now, in their latest display of mental incapacity, the federal Finance Minister is whining to anyone who will listen that offshore oil revenue deals inked between the Liberals, Nova Scotia and Newfoundland and Labrador have made a mess of equalization calculations. I guess that’s the Conservative equivalent of a chimp throwing feces around. Hell its like starving your dog for weeks and then blaming him because he started rooting through the garbage can.

My first thought is, “Has this guy even read the platform statements he was elected on?”

The Minister Jim Flaherty has been busy over the past week stirring up animosity between the provinces over the perceived inequity of those so called “side deals”. He’s been instrumental in reminding Saskatchewan that it didn’t get the same deal, in stirring the pot of dissatisfaction that already exists in Ontario and he’s been making it look like the two Atlantic Provinces involved are the main reason the equalization process isn’t working. I guess in Conservative circles that’s a productive week. At least these guys haven’t yet managed to start World War III or bring down a plague of locusts around the globe. At least I don’t think they did but I haven’t had a chance to see what the Foreign Affairs office has been up to lately.

The truth is that the deal signed with Nova Scotia as well as Newfoundland and Labrador excludes all revenues from offshore oil when calculating equalization payments, nothing more and nothing less. Is that different than the calculation for other Provinces? Yes I guess it is, and the Minister is right that it creates two separate methods of calculation, but why is that a problem? If Mr. Flaherty simply took a few minutes from his hectic media babbling sessions to read his party’s platform, or even speak with someone inside the party, he might see the solution right in front of his face.

During the election the Conservatives proudly promised to remove all non-renewable natural resource revenues from the calculation of Provincial equalization payments. All the Minister has to do is make good on that promise and the problem goes away. Why this person would instead choose to stir the media pot about a non issue is beyond me. Is it because the intention of the new government is to break this election promise? Is it because the Minister is like one of those guys who hangs out in the local bar starting fights for no reason, or is it simply because the Prime Minister Bonzo has made another brilliant strategic move by naming the dumbest chimp in the pack to the finance portfolio? What’s next, an international trade deal with Honduras? I can read the headlines now, “Canada trades Technology for Bananas.”

If nothing else the Harper government is making great strides in their plant to build a stronger Canadian Armed Forces. The way I see it, if these guys continue running things the way they are now, they may have accidentally stumbled on a way for Canada to create the biggest volunteer army in the world. Hell, by the time the House of Commons actually opens, most Canadians may be just too happy to get shipped off to Afghanistan or Haiti. At least those Countries are working to improve their democratic systems and stabilize their governments. Here at home we don’t have a clue what our government is trying to do, but that’s not the scariest part, what’s really scary is that they don’t have a clue either.