Da Legal Stuff...

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Thursday, August 20, 2009

Seal industry Supporters Offer Funding to PETA.

In what can only be described as an astonishing twist on the seal hunt debate a pro industry group calling itself Seal Industry Supporters of Canada (SISC) has publicly offered make a “very significant ” donation to the anti-sealing group PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), but the offer comes with a catch.

SISC approached PETA with the offer today on the heals of PETA’s latest publicity stunt, one in which a monetary offer was made to the City of Halifax if it agreed to name its sewer treatment plant the “Seal Slaughter Stinks Plant”.

In an open letter to PETA executives SISC has issued a counter offer of their own in which SISC will donate a “significant” sum of money to the extremist group if they agree to change their organization’s name to one SISC members feel is far more descriptive of PETA’s ongoing activities.

To qualify for the funding SISC is asking that PETA change its name to Humans Using Naivety To Secure Easy & Affluent Lifestyles or HUNTSEALS.

When asked about the validity of the financial offer the SISC spokesperson described it as “quite serious”.

He went on to say, “For years PETA has used the mainstream media and Hollywood star power to distribute its misleading propaganda and as a means of convincing countless donors to part with vast amounts of cash.”

“PETA is heavily funded by largely well meaning but misinformed individuals who believe they are doing their part to protect endangered or abused animals. In the case of the Canadian seal population, this is not the case.”

“Although PETA depicts little white seals in their fund raising campaigns in reality the hunting of white coat seals has been illegal on Canada for several decades. The seal population in the region is not endangered, in fact it’s at a 40 year high (in excess of 5.6 million animals) and the sealing industry itself is one of the most tightly controlled, heavily regulated and strictly monitored animal related industries anywhere in the world.”

“What it boils down to is this. Images of fluffy white seals being towered over by large men bring in a lot of money for these groups. When was the last time you saw a truly threatened, though less lovable, species like a cod fish on a PETA poster? Never mind that the growing seal population eats millions of tons of treatened cod every year, they don't bring in donations so they don't get any attention. It’s that simple."

When asked to quantify the actual dollar value of the PETA offer, should that group decide adopt the name “KILLSEALS” the SISC spokesperson would only say, “Rest assured that it’s enough to buy a lot of first class airline tickets and pay for plenty of lattes at Starbucks so the PETA leadership can continue living the good life they’ve become accustomed to living.”