ONTARIO MAY BECOME A HAVE NOT PROVINCE!!!!!

Lately it’s been all over the television news broadcasts, papers are screaming it in banner headlines and pundits are discussing the implications ad-nauseum. The world is ending,

ONTARIO MAY BECOME A HAVE NOT PROVINCE!!!!!

What? How can this be? How can the center of the universe possibly have been hit with such a catastrophe? Say it isn’t so!!

I don’t mean to be sarcastic, but in reality my concern lies with the people of this picturesque province. I mean, how can the people of Ontario possibly hold up under the strain of being on par with third world areas like Nova Scotia, or God forbid, Newfoundland and Labrador? How will they ever survive the shame and disgrace? Heaven only knows. My heart goes out to those poor souls.

Seriously, though, doesn’t this mean they will have to start accepting transfer payments or, in other words, government hand outs? Of course it also means, as some national columnists have put it in the past when referring to Canada’s poorer provinces, that they should accept what they receive and, “be thankful for how well Canada is treating them”.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the quaint and folksy people of the poor little province of Ontario. As a matter of fact I visited there once and found them quite charming in there own way. I just wish they would start pulling themselves up by their own boot straps and get to work making things better in their own province. After all, is it really right for them to depend on the rest of the Country’s tax payers to come to the rescue on a continuous basis?

All in all, Ontario has been treated quite well in the Dominion of Canada and we as Canadians want to see them prosper, but complaining about transfer payments and looking for more from Ottawa is not the way they should be going. They are like a poor brother in-law that came for a two week visit 6 months ago, has been raiding the fridge ever since and now has the nerve to complain that the couch is too lumpy.

It’s time Ontario realized that they have to work a little harder if they hope to one day stand on their own two feet. It’s not that the Canadian tax payer minds helping where they can, but depending on the largesse of the Canadian public is no way to become an equal partner in Confederation.

Come on Ontario, we know you can make it if you just apply yourselves and get off the proverbial couch.

Oh, by the way, thank-you Premier Williams for ensuring that Newfoundland and Labrador’s offshore revenue deal wasn’t tied to Ontario’s fiscal capacity as Ottawa had wanted. Good save!

Footnote: I apologize sincerely to the fine people of Ontario for the content of this article. To certain national columnists in papers like the Globe and Mail and the National Post, I have one question: How does it feel?